No More Desperation Dating
|
When you think about what you find attractive in a person, what comes to mind? Tall, dark and handsome? Blonde and curvaceous?
How about happy and fulfilled with an exciting life?
I don't know about you, but I would pick the happy, exciting life every time. While physical chemistry is important, I know quite a number of people who would not win a beauty pageant, but are so filled with life and energy that they draw the attention of everyone when they enter a room. They may not be the easiest on the eye, but they certainly are the ones I want to talk to and spend time with.
***Looking Ahead***
As we get ready for the search for our future partners, an easy aspect to overlook is our attitude towards our own lives. Each time I have found myself single, adjusting myself to the possible reality that I might be that way the rest of my life has seemed imperative. A part of that adjustment has always included building a happy and interesting life for myself.
How you feel about your life now as a single person and the possibility that you might stay single, affects what you portray to others. If you hate your life, think that being married or partnered is the only valued way to live, and look towards a future as a single as depressing, sad, or bleak, believe me, that shows. And it is very unattractive.
As well, that sort of mind set leads to desperation and neediness, which will really cloud your judgment when it comes to sorting through mate possibilities. How will you be able to freely decide if someone is right for you if you feel impelled to launch yourself towards the first person who shows a bit of interest?
Staying centered and clear-headed is going to be vital to your future, and feeling miserable about your current life and prospects will really cloud your judgment.
***Three Action Steps***
1. Start thinking about improving your life as a single and your attitude towards it right now. What are you proud of, and what do you need to improve upon, to feel better about your life and the future?
2. If you knew, right now, that you were going to spend the rest of your life as a single, what would you need to do so that you would have as interesting and vital a life by yourself as you imagine life with a partner would be?
3. While important to place priority on finding a mate, how can you move it to the side, and make your own life and its vitalness central?
Though sounding contradictory, happiness with your life as it is now, and at the same time, making yourself ready to change it by finding a mate, actually provides needed balance. Your satisfaction with what you have will be exciting and attractive to others. You will not come across as needy, a real turn off.
***Want or Need?***
Want and need are two very different things. *Want* implies desire, but something that you could do without. *Need* has a desperate edge. Because you are looking, you will be signaling that you *want* a relationship and are willing to make space and change for that in your already full life. But you don't *need* another to make yourself complete.
One of the best ingredients for a successful relationship are two people who know how to satisfy their own needs. They are happy by themselves and not *needing* a relationship.
Wanting, yes.
Needing, no.
Kathryn Lord © 2004 All Rights Reserved
About The Author
Kathryn Lord, Romance Coach / Helping Singles Find A Sweetheart!
eBk: "Find A Sweetheart Soon! Your Love Trip Planner for Women"
Purchase ebook at: http://www.cafeshops.com/findasweetheart
Want more? Get my complimentary enewsletter *eMAIL to eMATE*
Subscribe at http://find-a-sweetheart.com/newsletter.html
www.Find-A-Sweetheart.com / email: Kathryn@Find-A-Sweetheart.com
4870 Oak Ridge Road, Vicksburg, MS 39183 / Ph.601-619-0030
|
|
|
Reading People: Body Language Briefing
Body language is the meaning behind the words or the"unspoken" language. Surprisingly, studies show that onlyup to an estimated 10 percent ...(related: Dating Tip)
Win Her Heart With Romantic Gift Ideas
Does your significant other cry at goofy commercials? Does she beg you to take her to every romantic comedy that comes out in the theatres? Can you absolutely count on the fact that she will always remember every date that has even the slightest significance in your relationship?Uh-oh. Sounds like you are in serious need of some romantic gift ideas.Don't panic! We've listed some of the best ones around below.TattoosQuick! What's the best way to show her that you'll be around forever? By putting her name in a tattoo on your body, of course. She will quiver with delight as you show her where you put her name-forever. Not quite feeling confident enough t...(related: Dating Tip)
Online Dating - Top Tips For Success!
A few months ago I became single again after a long-term relationship, and decided to try out the phenomenon taking the world by storm that is online dating.Online dating has gr...(related: Dating Tip)
A Dating Story From My Youth
One of my first "Big Dates" was a Cotillion dance in 8th grade...or was it seventh? Cotillion ...(related: Dating Tip)
Looking To Join A Dating Site?
Searching the web for a dating or personals site can leave one very confused. There are millions of dating sites listed on the Internet. My search of the word "dating" on Google resulted in 56,200,000 results! Talk about a tough decision.Let me give you some pointers and advice.Currently, I am a Webmaster of a few dating sites as well as dating referral sites. I have seen all the styles of personal sites. They all follow pretty much the same format with a few variations. Sure, there are some great free dating sites, as well as some terrible ones. The same holds true for pay dating sites. Now, as a Webmaster, let me assure you of one thing, all us webmasters are promoting dating sites for one thing...money.Now, don't get me wrong, but I could put up a decent free dating site, and allow members to join my dating site for f...(related: Dating Tip)
Online Dating Tips - Five Steps To Creating Your Profile
Creating your online dating profile is an aspect often commonly overlooked by online daters. You sign up for a dating service, forget about it, no-one contacts you and you give up. Why? You have not marketed yourself properly - so many daters fail even to post a picture!Imagine if you are going out for a night out on the town ? you make a...(related: Dating Tip)
Web Cams: Windows On The World
The webcam has brought a truly amazing variety of experience to the desktop user giving all of us true "window on the world" to webcams all over the planet. With a good webcam software to connect you to the vast array of webcams out there you can see live video as it occurs from such diverse places as???1. Times Square in New York2. A haunted house3. A weather cam from the tallest building in town.4. T...(related: Dating Tip)
How To Write A Successful Personal Ad
No one would know how good you are if you would not let them know about it. Whether you are promoting yourself for a job or for a date, you have to advertise yourself well.You have written your own personal ad. Unfortunately, no one seems to be paying attention on your ad. You are a little apprehensive that you do not possess the skills you need to write a successful ad. You are thinking that perhaps it's not really your writing that's making you less appealing but your very own pers...(related: Dating Tip)
Mike?s Dating Story
(Black Couch Tales)Mike was completely stressed when he walked into my office last week. Taking a long drink of water, he slumped onto my black leather couch and sighed."Coach," he said. "I need to get out of my relationship."Mike is 38 years old and a successful screenwriter. Mike was also perpetually single with a long history of failed relationships. His situation is typical: he wasn't necessary afraid of something long-term, he just could never find "the One". Mike could never stay in a romantic situation for long before moving to something new.Today's session was no different. Once again he found himself feeling stuck with someone he didn't want to be with. He told me his story."I met Lexy about a year ago. I was at a...(related: Dating Tip)
Use Dating To Your Benefit
The easy way to date is really by empowering yourself. This unconventional approach is based on the reality that when we grow and expand, our dating also grows and expands.The book The Joy Of Dating Again: 21 Self-Empowering Keys, will guide you through the keys for self-empowerment. Using the 21 keys, you will get the tools to move into a "new life," stretching your old limits and breaking the barriers of what is possible for you. In addition, you will develop the tools to attract a partner that is really suitable for you; the "new you."To create the joy of dating again, you need to take action to make it happen. Some of you wish there was some kind of service where you call and they deliver the date of your dreams, with no effort on your part; or maybe, you wish you could fas...(related: Dating Tip)
Is Somebody Interested In You?
How can you tell if a somebody is interested in you?I am asking you this because if you wish to any control of your dating life, your personal life, and even your business life. You should know how to read people.I've read plenty of articles and worked with plenty of students. They have come up with things such as she is touching her hair. She smiles and her eyes just seem to set on you if we are talking about dating.The biggest problem with the above question is that you are looking fo...(related: Dating Tip)
site-map - Copyright © 2006 | Contact Disclaimer/Webmaster | Links Resource | All Rights Reserved. | Dating Tip